We recently bid farewell to Abbu's last year's teacher.It's unbelievable how time flies,when one is finally getting to understand the teacher's ways it's time for new discoveries again.Goodbyes are hard,especially to a beautiful person,add to that the anxiety that comes with new beginnings,it's unsettling.This time of the year my heart feels so empty and nervous,both simultaneously.
Abbu's new academic year has just started.I know Abbu will do well,I'm not worried about that.This past year he got 'A's and 'A+'s in all his subjects except 'B' in second language Hindi and Computers.The thing that worries me and pains me is that Abbu will be judged again,again he'll be compared with other kids,again he'll have to prove himself from the start(and Abbu can be sensitive sometimes).
Every year the teacher's different and every teacher is different.Some like enthusiastic kids,some the quiet ones,there are also teachers who don't like boys at all,some like one kid's ways and want the others to be like that one they favour,they discourage individuality.One of his previous class teachers often had a problem with him,she always said that Abbu was not enthusiastic enough,and Abbu's problem is that he doesn't like to speak when somebody interferes while he's speaking,and in the classroom there are some kids who like to show off so they keep raising hands or voices to grab the teacher's attention,to answer a question and this,while Abbu's answering.Abbu finds it annoying and thinks it's best to not answer in the first place.Another teacher thought Abbu was a bit over-enthusiastic because he would always be the first to help the teacher with little things,sometimes getting past his friends to get to the teacher first.One teacher thought he was shy and put him in dramatics to help him get over his shyness,while another teacher thought he was very outgoing and lacked self-control.
There are also teachers who just presume things.They only accuse and don't even want to listen to the kid's justification,his side of the story.This crushes Abbu and it will,anybody.There were incidents,once one of Abbu's classmates took his eraser without asking Abbu and when Abbu found the eraser and wanted it back that particular classmate wouldn't give and the teacher saw this and asked Abbu to step out of the class because she thought that Abbu was distracting others,she didn't even bother to ask what the problem was and Abbu was devasted,he's always seen us treat him and his friends fairly/justly so it's a big deal for him.I've taught Abbu to be fair and I've been a good example,always,so that was a little disheartening for him.There are many stories like these,I'll have to write another post for that.Yes,that many.
Basically I'm anxious and nervous,about what this year has in store for Abbu and me,how many heartbreaks he's going to have and how many arguments I'm going to get into with the school staff.
But most of all I hate the fact that with each passing year Abbu is growing bigger and one day he'll be big and no more dependent and no more only mine to hold,to hug,to carry,to kiss.I'm not really fond of this time of the year,reminds me of the fact that one day I'll have to let go,something that I hold so precious,my love,my baby.
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©Seema Tabassum 2015
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