"Nana handfeeds(when one uses palm,not spoon,to feed another) me when i eat at her place and you don't,that means you don't love me", this is what my kid had to say upon returning home after a weekend's stay at my Mom's place....i was like "WHAT??!!".
pic.courtesy: pixabay.com
While kids in other countries are encouraged to eat by themselves from when they are li'l, we Indians handfeed our kids well into adulthood.
It's so typically us,almost all mothers feed their kids with their hands,it's like our way of showing the kids our love,i don't get it? Is it our desperate attempt at being involved in some way,because we can't face the fact that our kids are growing too soon and becoming less dependent on us,this way atleast we are involved,needed in their lives? or is it that we simply can't get enough of them?
My childhood memories mostly comprise of my Mom feeding me,my Mom used to handfeed me and my brother all meals of the day,even at school,she would walk 15 minutes to school and back,every schoolday just to spoonfeed us,also to keep us from playing :) , one could say that my Mom was a bit extreme though.
She handfed me everyday till i was 16,sometimes she would shove food down my throat when she thought i was too slow(this still makes me laugh)....then when i had to leave town and Mom,the real crisis started,i could not eat,because my whole life i was handfed,i would cry,feel lonely,i'd give anything to be fed by someone and anyone at that.My Mom had become my crutch,i needed her bad and i had to make myself tough,it was very hard for me,it's become a kind of traumatic thing for me,...now when i'm near her,she insists on feeding me,and i always decline her offer :) ...on the other hand my brother still enjoys being pampered whenever he's in town and when i ask him if it was tough not having someone to have handfed him the first time he left tje city to work elsewhere,he says it was not something he couldn't handle,i guess everybody feels differently about a situation.
I'm in a better place in life now,ofcourse i've grown up and all but those childhood days' memories of my Mom,i"ll remember fondly forever and frankly,food tasted best when her hands fed me.
But i've decided I"ll make memories of a different kind with Abbu(my kid),i'll handfeed him only once in ages,if he insists,because i don't want to become his crutch,i don't want him to ever be dependent on anybody for anything,even if that means that Abbu thinks i don't love him or that i'm a cold person and not good enough mother,i'm willing to risk that, besides there are other ways of showing him i care and love...and also because i'm the kind who believes in tough love......